Top 10 Fast Food Restaurants

Inspired by this week old post on KSK (and a desire not to do my work), here's my Top 10 fast food restaurants in order:

1. The Varsity: Perhaps a slight tinge of nostalgia is what powered this over IAO for the number one, but whatever the reason, I've got to take The Varsity first for two reasons. First, the onion rings, which may be the most perfect onion rings in human history. And second, the peach and apple pies which blow my mind. Oh yeah, and this.

2. In N Out Burger: Pretty much the universal number one, and with good reason. Essentially McDonald's evil twin, In N Out Burger focuses on the basics (all you can get are burgers, fries, and milkshakes) but they get them perfect. The secret: the spread, which takes the one thing McDonald's gets right (the secret sauce) and makes it even better. Just read about the Animal Style Burger and tell me you're not starving.

3. Cook Out: As far as I know, they've just kept these in North Carolina, because they know that if they get out, the entire country will weigh 300 pounds. For 3 or 4 dollars, you can get a combo that is a) delicious b) not ridiculously filling and c) includes chicken nuggets AS A SIDE ITEM. That's right, you can get a hamburger, french fries, and CHICKEN FUCKING NUGGETS. And an awesome milkshake.

4. Zaxby's: The Wings and Things meal consists of the following: The Best Fast Food Buffalo Wing (suck it Buffalo Wild Wings), their delicious chicken finger which, while not superior the Chik-Fil-A on its own, gets the edge thanks to Zax Sauce, some damn good fries, and Texas Toast. I've also over the last couple of years become a fan of their kettle chips, which are neither too soft and greasy nor too crispy and old.

5. Five Guys: I always get exactly the same hamburger everytime I go to Five Guys (lettuce, pickle, grilled onions, sauteed mushrooms, A1 sauce) but because their menu has 25 different toppings, I feel like I have so many more options than I would otherwise. Then, when you order your meal, not only do you get a massive amount of fries in a cup, but they take an additional scoop of fries and dump them in your bag. Plus, they have peanuts, which are always fun.

6. Chik-Fil-A: This is the thing I've missed the most over the last four years. What makes Chik-Fil-A work is the simplicity: just a bun, chicken breast, and pickles. There are some people out there who will tell you that their waffle fries are inferior to normal fries. Those people are morons.

7. Skyline: The Southeast bias on this list has admittedly been a little extreme, so here's something from America's heartland. I think adding fries was a bit of a mistake, but the five way, coneys, and oyster crackers are still so good.

8. White Castle: White Castle has taken gross, disgusting fast food expediency and turned it into an artform. There's something refreshingly honest about a burger patty that's faker than Steak-Ums and a bun streaked with grease. Plus, no burger makes better use of onion and its so satisfyingly gluttonous to walk into a restaurant and order 5 hamburgers.

9. Chipotle: In an alternate universe where In N Out Burger is the nation's number one fast food chain, Chipotle is our Taco Bell. The sheer, ridiculous weight of the burrito means that I almost always eat myself sick, but its worth it. And they use fresh, natural ingredients, which is always nice.

10. Panera Bread: The bread is fresh, the soup and salad is good, and the cookies and muffin tops are delicious. A solid choice when the grease and mass of numbers 1-9 are just too intimidating.